7 Tips for Telling Your Partner

[getSTDtested Administrator]

In the United States alone, there are 19 million new sexually transmitted disease (STD) cases diagnosed each year. If you've recently tested positive for an STD, you're probably experiencing a spectrum of emotions: fear, embarrassment, disbelief, shame, and anger, among them. But there's another emotion: dread. The dread of having to tell your partner, a new love interest, or even ex-partners that you have an STD--and that they may need to get tested as well.


Here are some tips that might help:
1. You're doing them a favor. Remember, however scary or unpleasant the conversation, they will be grateful you told them.

2. Pick a good time and place. Schedule a time when you won't be rushed, and a place where you can speak privately.

3. Start with the positive. It's sometimes helpful to begin the conversation with a statement such as, "I really care about you, which is why I want to be totally honest."

4. Be armed with facts. It's helpful, before you talk to a current, former, or prospective sexual partner, to have the most accurate information about the disease.

5. Discuss safe sex options. There are lots of misconceptions out there about safe sex. For example, condoms are not 100 percent effective in preventing herpes. Abstaining from intercourse doesn't make you immune either. STDs can be spread through saliva, blood, vaginal secretions, semen, and feces during noncoital sexual activity. Get the facts before you discuss your options with a current partner.

6. Be prepared for emotions. If you're informing a partner with whom you've already had unsafe sex, he or she may be angry--as angry as you were when you found out. Discovering they may have an STD is very frightening to most people. Be compassionate, not defensive.

7. Remember, you're not a bad person. You don't have to be a criminal to contract an STD. Good people get STDs, and so do people from all walks of life--from scientists and Olympic athletes to celebrities and schoolteachers.