HIV in a relationship

I am dating someone who is HIV+ (has been for years). We haven't been sexual yet, but if we stay together then of course we will. I really think I love him and want to commit, but it's kind of scary. I don't want to hurt him though. Has anyone been through this, or do you have any thoughts? I want us to be together but want to be safe without making him feel bad.

Originally Posted by Brock Haynes

I am dating someone who is HIV+ (has been for years). We haven't been sexual yet, but if we stay together then of course we will. I really think I love him and want to commit, but it's kind of scary. I don't want to hurt him though. Has anyone been through this, or do you have any thoughts? I want us to be together but want to be safe without making him feel bad.

First, I'd say it's important you really think about yourself. Being concerned for your partner is admirable, but don't put anyone else's needs ahead of your own, no matter what it is they might be dealing with. There are things you can do to make sex with your partner less of a risk for you: using condoms consistently and correctly with EACH sex act (oral, anal, and vaginal) is important. This won't 100% eliminate your risk, but should reduce it significantly.

The other thing is for you and your partner to be tested for STDs apart from HIV (and you should do an HIV test if you've never had one, regardless of whether or not you've had sex with your current partner). This is because the presence of other STDs can make HIV transmission more likely. This site is a good place to start if you need testing, so for more go to STD Tests - How STD Testing Works Online | Learn about STD Testing at GetSTDtested.