What If My Partner Has Genital Herpes??

[getSTDtested Administrator]

All About Genital Herpes: What If Your Partner Has It?

FAQ: If Your Partner Has Genital Herpes...

When you find out your partner has genital herpes, you may be shocked at first and have lots of questions second. Here are some answers to help you.

How likely is it that I've been infected, too?

That depends on whether you have always practiced safe sex, for one thing. Also, it may depend on how long you've been sexually intimate with each other.

If you've had sex only once or twice, and if you used a condom each time, your risk is lower than if you've had unprotected sex for a long time. But you could have been infected during any one encounter.

Don't think you're in the clear because you've never seen herpes sores on your partner's genitals or your own. The symptoms of genital herpes are often subtle and easily mistaken for something else, like bug bites, pimples, razor burn, or hemorrhoids. What's more, the virus can be contagious even when there are no symptoms.

How can I protect myself if we keep having sex?

While no prevention method short of abstinence is 100% effective, using a latex condom offers some protection. Your partner should tell you when symptoms flare up, which is when the virus is most contagious. Avoid sex when your partner has symptoms.

How can I find out if I've been infected?

Go to your doctor and get tested. A doctor may take a sample from what appears to be a genital herpes sore and examine it under a microscope.

You can also have a blood test. The blood test looks for antibodies to the virus that your immune system would have made when you were infected. The second type of herpes simplex virus, HSV-2, almost always infects the genitals, so if antibodies to HSV-2 are detected in your blood, you probably have genital herpes. A blood test that shows antibodies to the other type of herpes virus, HSV-1, means you could have genital or oral herpes. That's because oral herpes, typically caused by HSV-1, can be spread to the genitals during oral sex.

Will my partner have major health problems because of genital herpes?

The biggest impact of genital herpes is usually emotional. Painful symptoms, limitations on sexual activity, and that it's an incurable, lifelong condition can lead to depression. If your partner is pregnant or trying to get pregnant, however, genital herpes is a major concern. Her doctor must be made aware of it. Genital herpes is also more serious for people with HIV and other conditions that weaken the immune system.

You may have heard that genital herpes causes cervical cancer. That's not exactly true. It may be a factor, but it's not the main cause.

What can I do to help my partner?

For starters, you can understand that having genital herpes isn't all that unusual. If you were to leave your partner to find someone else, you'd have nearly a one-in-five chance of meeting another man with genital herpes, or about a one-in-four chance of meeting another woman who is infected.

If your partner isn't coping well, you may want to suggest joining a support group. If you think genital herpes is harming your relationship, you could try couple's therapy.

Could my partner have picked up genital herpes from a toilet seat or hot tub?

It's very rare, if not impossible, to get genital herpes any other way than by sexual contact.
Keep in mind, however, that many people have genital herpes for years or even decades without knowing it. When they are diagnosed, their monogamous partners often assume they were unfaithful, which may not be true.

SOURCE: http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/partner-faq

[stanislarr]

I was doing a diagnosis of herpes search and ran across your story. I too think I was misdiagonised aswell. I was 15 and had a boyfriend that I was sexually active with and when I had an outbreak of awful, painful sores on and in my vagina I was taken to a doctor and immediately told that I had genital herpes and given the same medication as you. Unfortunately I was living with my aunt and did not have health insurance so I wasnt able to go back for a follow up and/or hear the results of the culture. Its now over 10 years later, and I never continued the Valtrex treatment, have had a child vaginaly and sorry to be so blunt lots of "rough" sex, all without another "outbreak." I am 99 certain that I was misdiagnosed and absolutely pied too because I went through all the same issues that you did. The now ex told everyone it only makes him look bad too though because we do have a child together and I had to deal with all the comments, regection, even worries from gfs "I dont think its good for you too used my chapstick, eyeliner, etc.
Bottomline, the doctors should have better follow through with their patients ITS BAD MEDICAL CARE AND BUSINESS PRACTICE
Maybe my cooky mother isnt so crazy afterall when she says the docs and pharmacutical companies are in cahoots to get us to take their meds for a lifetime

So sorry to hear this has happend to others


Take Care

[Erich Remarque]

I am 99 certain that I was misdiagnosed and absolutely pied too because I went through all the same issues that you did.

If you want to nail this down, you can do a really good herpes blood test these days. The ones on the market 10 years ago tended to be iffy, but the "type specific" tests used today are much more reliable.

[Martha]

I agree with Erich, test if you want to know. For years I had symptoms that I suspected were herpes but was afraid to get tested. I finally did and turns out I have herpes, but it was actually a big relief knowing for sure. I don't have many outbreaks and have gotten married...no big deal to my husband, and we manage ok.

[EHK Lexus]

I agree with Erich, test if you want to know. For years I had symptoms that I suspected were herpes but was afraid to get tested. I finally did and turns out I have herpes, but it was actually a big relief knowing for sure. I don't have many outbreaks and have gotten married...no big deal to my husband, and we manage ok.

Martha,

Can you explain a little how herpes is "no big deal" to you and your guy. It seems like a really big deal to me, and I don't know what to do.

[Martha]

EHK Lexus wrote:
Quote:

I agree with Erich, test if you want to know. For years I had symptoms that I suspected were herpes but was afraid to get tested. I finally did and turns out I have herpes, but it was actually a big relief knowing for sure. I don't have many outbreaks and have gotten married...no big deal to my husband, and we manage ok.
Martha,

Can you explain a little how herpes is "no big deal" to you and your guy. It seems like a really big deal to me, and I don't know what to do.

Sure thing. I've had herpes for years and my outbreaks are few and far between, and tend to last only a day or two when they do come. My husband and I don't have sex during an outbreak. In the early days of our relationship we used condoms all the time and I even took Valtrex everyday to make it less likely I'd pass the virus to him. We've been together so long now we no longer do all that, except for not having sex while there's an outbreak.

I guess the thing is we realize herpes doesn't have to be such a big problem, and for me personally and as a wife, it's not.

I hope that helps!

[EHK Lexus]

Thank you Martha, that does help. Sometimes it's hard to keep things in perspective, and I know my mind just races and races over my diagnosis. I think society makes herpes out to be a bigger deal than it is, and it is good to hear from someone who has a good relationship after being diagnosed. I suspect there are many more like you out there.

Thanks again!

[Snidely Whiplash]

How do you know what type of herpes test is a good one?

[Victoria's Muse]

There are very good blood tests these days that can tell if someone has HSV-2 (which almost always relates to a genital herpes infection). These type-specific tests (such as the ones offered on this site) can accurately find antibodies a person's immune system produces in the presence of an HSV infection. Some older, non-specific HSV tests were not nearly as reliable, so hooray for technology!

HSV can also be diagnosed through a viral culture, which is when a health care provider takes a swab or sample from an area of skin where suspected herpes sores exist. This test has a couple of drawbacks, the most obvious being it isn't practical to do when no symptoms are present.

Go to Genital Herpes Test | More About Genital Herpes | Herpes Test On GetSTDtested to learn more about the virus and appropriate testing.