Positive for HIV

[Ramona]

I took the test and I have HIV. I am scared, confused, angry, hurt, you name it. How did this happen? WHY did this happen? How do I tell my mother?

Please, please, someone help me.

[Victoria]

Well hello there Ramona,

Thank you for taking time to post, and it's good to hear from you. I responded to another post of yours on the STDs & Relationships board, but I'll cover a few points here for others who may not have made it over that way yet.

It is absolutely understandable and natural for you to react the way you are, feeling so many different emotions at one time. It must be hard to sort them all out! Give yourself permission to feel everything that bubbles up: if you want to be angry, then be angry! If it would help, you can always seek short-term counseling if things are just too much to sort out on your own.

HIV is a common infection, even in the U.S. We sometimes make the mistake of thinking of HIV as an infection of gay men, but the reality is anyone who has ever had sex is at risk for HIV. Many, many individuals with HIV don't know they have it and exhibit no symptoms, so it's hard to judge if a partner has HIV or any STD based on how they look or feel.

Let's talk about your mother. Are the two of you close? If so, her support and help might be really valuable to you. Of course, you don't have to tell her at all, so that's up to you. Are you afraid of her reaction? Moms are usually pretty good about that, but you would know that better than me.

Ok, that was a pretty long-winded "I'll cover a few points" post, wasn't it?

Remember the key with HIV is getting into treatment, and the combination of meds used today is usually very effective. People can live long, normal lives with HIV, unlike the way it was back in the 80's and early 90's. You were very smart to get tested! We'll chat more next week, if you like.

Lovingly,
Victoria

[Ramona]

Thank you so much!!!! I almost cried when I read your answers, you're so sweet and gave me a sense of real hope!

My life isn't over! Oh I can't tell you how much better I feel. I have talked with my mother and had to spend more time comforting her than she did me! It's great to have that off my chest and to know she's there for me. The fact that individuals with HIV can lead long lives means the world to us both.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!