Agreeing on a Relationship

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Agreeing On A Relationship

An interesting new article in the July 2010 issue of AIDS Care looked at how gay men's negotiations of relationship agreements affect their risk behavior and overall HIV risk. What the researchers found was that gay men who have relationship agreements form those agreements - whether they be for monogamous relationships or open relationships - in order to maximize their satisfaction with their relationship, not to moderate their HIV risk. When couples were broken down by their STD status, only couples where both partners were HIV/STD negative stated that trying to keep themselves that way was a major priority for forming a relationship agreement. Serodiscordant couples and couples where both members were positive did not include risk reduction in their top three reasons for negotiating a relationship agreement.

This research brings up several important points. The first is that, since eight percent of couples interviews disagreed about the structure of their relationship agreement, clear and open communication is essential when discussing issues of sexuality. The second is that it is critical to encourage couples to prioritize not just discussing sex but discussing safe sex and STD risk. While it's wonderful that couples embrace relationship agreements as ways to strengthen their involvement - seeing them as building trust, encouraging honesty, and protecting their relationships - they also are a great tools for protecting individuals. Encouraging men and women to use such negotiations to also prioritize reducing STD risk for themselves and their partners could not just improve relationships but improve lives.

SOURCE: Agreeing on a Relationship